At first I thought they were coasters. (Although, generally speaking, anything can be a coaster.)

But the Glass Gripper literature kept entreating, “PROTECT YOUR PIECE!” And by “piece,” they didn’t mean my coffee table.

They meant 420 party implements! Or “meditation accessories,” if you prefer. The literature continues:

I designed this product after breaking and chipping many of my glass pieces on tables and counter tops….Once applied you can really hear and feel the difference, there is no more clinking noise when you place your piece down, and no chance of breaking or chipping it.

And I do hope that the font comes through. The “you can really hear and feel the difference” line is my favorite. It reminds me of how awed my friends and I would be, in our more carefree days, by similar innovations we came up with: the Grolsch-bottlecap “cigarette clip,” for instance, or SureGrip, the Bic lighter with red, yellow, and green rubber bands carefully wrapped around it. “Toss me SureGrip,” you’d say, and seriously, someone could hurl it from across the room, but YOU WOULD CATCH IT because of the proprietary “gripping” technology we had installed.

Only two bucks for each adhesive-backed piece of foam. Eight bucks buys you a sixer. Note: Item not necessary if you don’t plan on ever putting the piece down.