Posted by: willenvelope | October 28, 2008

I hate the fuckin’ Eagles, man

Heaven and Hell: My Life in the Eagles (1974–2001)
by Don Felder ( Wiley, $25.95 )

Part one: blah blah blah, Felder (second from left, above, between Frey and Henley) is from the South, worked at IBM, knew how to use a Selectric, joined the Eagles in time for their third album, On the Border (1974). Claims he was the guy who made “Already Gone” sweet.

Part two:

Many of us still smoked a lot of pot and drank longneck Buds, but we’d rarely refuse some blow. We were generally well coked up before we even appeared on stage, but our roadies had instructions to leave lines of blow on our amps so that between songs we could go back and bend over as if we were adjusting the knobs, when actually we were snorting in front of an entire live audience. The drugs must have affected our performance, but at the time, I thought we sounded just great.

Part three: His kid is born, he realizes there’s more to life than druggin’ it up, and meanwhile Glenn Frey (whose nickname is Roach “because of his fondness for pot”) and Don Henley (probably a dick) and Bernie Leadon (on a health kick) are fighting a lot. They’re going to wind up in court. I’m not sure why. In a just world, they’d be getting sued for sucking, but I’m sure it’s actually about who gets to keep all those damn gold records.

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Responses

  1. Ha ha – excellent! I think you’ve found your style here!

    Of course, they did record Take it Easy….

  2. Oh, all this is not to say that I don’t know all the words to “Take It Easy,” ‘Lyin’ Eyes,” and “Hotel California” by heart. Kind of sort of liking the Eagles just makes you hate them that much more.

  3. I hate dipsticks who have to hate people ‘cos their successful in a way that the dipsticks never will be. Go get your oil changed.


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